Jokes:

I went to Fenway Park, and saw Steely Dan and Iron Maiden in concert.  Not sure if it was their age or the rain, but they were rusty.

I eat celery whenever I want antioxidants, or when I wanna kill an hour picking shit out of my teeth.

I have a photo of a relative from the 1880s.  I’m told he was an indentured servant, but he appears to have all his teeth.